To coincide with this year’s secret week, the Beta Theta Pi chapter of JHU has announced the release of Now That’s What I Call Beta: Greatest Hits, an album of Beta’s greatest serenades. The announcement was accompanied by a statement from Beta Serenade Coordinator Michael Cooper-Swann, who stated, “Unlike some other frats, we don’t feel like drugs are the best way to create brotherhood. Sometimes sobriety and the power the of song are all you need!”

The tracklist, annotated by BNBJ, is as follows:

1. That Beta Sweetheart Song
   Oh, you were a Beta sweetheart too? I guess there were 47 sweethearts this year! Small world!
2. “You Belong with Me” by Taylor Swift
   Because Beta is the Taylor Swift of frats.
3. “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift
   Or as the brothers call her, “T-Swizzle.”
4. “I Want it That Way” by Backstreet Boys
   Because Beta is also the boy band of frats.
5. “Fuckin’ Problems (Acoustic)” by A$AP Rocky
   Sample lyric: “I love bad littles that’s my fuckin’ problem”
6. “Raining Blood” by Slayer
   Obviously! Classic Beta.
7. “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye
   Yikes. Did a big really pick this out?
8. “Smoke Tweed Every Day” by J.Crew ft. L.L. Bean
   “Smoke Tweed Every Day” is an original by Beta’s resident aspiring rappers, J.Crew and LL Bean.
9. “I Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd
   Fun fact: this song is actually about cocaine! So you would think it would be more of an Elmo’s thing.
10. “You Belong with Me (Reprise)” by Taylor Swift
    But it’s so good, you guys!!!