The Student Government Association (SGA) is convening this coming Friday to discuss a bombshell new report by the Hopkins Department of Campus Climate. The study, published just last week, warns that the future of JHU’s communications and event naming has been “flung into Jay-pardy.”

Individual experts have been decrying perceived unsustainable pun usage as far back as the late 1990s. Calls for reform intensified following the “hubris” of the so-called “Hoploween flockstival” of 2015 and the folly of the first Hoptoberfest in 2012. Since then, increased scrutiny has led to the establishment of several watchdog organizations that have tasked themselves with monitoring current and projected pun output. 

As the SGA senators arrive in Homewood this week, many students are left wondering why exactly this new Campus Climate study is so impactful. “There are two main reasons why the report is ruffling feathers,” says Pun Watch spokesperson Allison Stein. “The first is that this analysis comes directly from the University’s own research division. The second is that this is the first paper to provide a precise mathematical framework for the “Mendelssohn-Rose tipping point” that had been theorized since the 2000s. Under the model, there is a precise threshold at which the deficiency of good, clever puns causes a chain reaction wherein more puns must be used to compensate for their decreased individual quality, which then more quickly uses up available puns.” This kind of self-reinforcing disaster, Stein adds, threatens to be a Nest-stinction level event.

In the meantime, organizations like Stein’s recommend limiting the use of Hopkins-related puns to once daily and rotating them to avoid overuse. “The situation seems pretty beak, but there is reason to remain hoptimistic.”

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