Hey kiddo! Your old man here. Just wanted to let you know why we decided to visit your brother Andy this weekend instead of you. I know it’s your parents weekend at school, and you haven’t seen us for months, but we visited Andy last weekend, and it was just so nice that we wanted to do it again. Seriously, he’s a great guy. He even insisted we come visit you, and that the sheer amount of cookies your mom makes for him is becoming a health concern. Wouldn’t you want to spend time with a guy like that?
Yes, he happens to be much farther away than you are, but that’s what makes our visits special. It feels like an adventure, with Andy serving as the precious treasure that must be sought after at all costs. If we came to see you, it would just feel like driving a few hours to go to the emotional dollar store. We can do that via text, buddy.
Now I know what you’re thinking: Andy is our favorite son. Well, that just isn’t true. Not one bit. You see son, back when we were teenagers, you’re mother and I had a baby named Scott and put him up for adoption. He was our favorite. By a mile. So don’t you worry that Andy is our “Golden Boy” or some nonsense like that.
We’ll find some other time to come down and see you, I promise. But I don’t think we’ll be able to do it for a while. I want to enjoy the first few months of my retirement first. But you’ll be ok where you are, killer. We drive down to your campus all the time to see how pretty it is this time of year, even though it’s not top ten! Plus I assume you’ve got lots of friends, maybe even a girl you like, to keep you busy. I know Andy does, and his are great. We’re visiting some of them next weekend.
Mom and Dad