The Blue Jays brave tomorrow’s April snow to play against Ohio State as part of the annual homecoming game. Top players to watch for are listed below, accompanied by a short bio:
- Bentley Jasper Fairchild
Position: Forward. GPA: don’t ask.
- Rutherford Donovan Charles-Kingsley
Descendant of the first white people to steal lacrosse from the Native Americans.
- Brock Callahan Kensington Jr.
Been playing lacrosse for 12 years, growing his mustache for the same amount of time.
- Johns-Towson Loyola Roland
- Daniel Coit Gilman
Also a transfer student.
- Carlton LAXLORD Digsby III
Allegedly responsible for a gruesome scooter accident that injured star defenseman Kyle Brooks Charleston Brooksward.
- Luc Augustus Antony
Graduate of elite Baltimore prep school, McBlakefield Gilman’s Latin Hall.
- Schuyler LaCrosse Skyler
Econ major. But you knew that already.
- Kennedy “Musk” Barnaby-Stephenson Sr. Jr.
Barnaby-Stephenson’s flow is the most impressive on the team. In fact, his hair was once featured in Pantene commercials.
- Bleepblorp, the Immortal
Not very fast, but he’s got a great arm – all eight of them! Hopefully his competitive nature translates to lacrosse talent after a lifetime of mercilessly killing humans.