The Blue Jays brave tomorrow’s April snow to play against Ohio State as part of the annual homecoming game. Top players to watch for are listed below, accompanied by a short bio:

• Bentley Jasper Fairchild
  Position: Forward. GPA: don’t ask.
• Rutherford Donovan Charles-Kingsley
  Descendant of the first white people to steal lacrosse from the Native Americans.
• Brock Callahan Kensington Jr.
  Been playing lacrosse for 12 years, growing his mustache for the same amount of time.
• Johns-Towson Loyola Roland
  Transfer student.
• Daniel Coit Gilman
  Also a transfer student.
• Carlton LAXLORD Digsby III
  Allegedly responsible for a gruesome scooter accident that injured star defenseman Kyle Brooks Charleston Brooksward.
• Luc Augustus Antony
  Graduate of elite Baltimore prep school, McBlakefield Gilman’s Latin Hall.
• Schuyler LaCrosse Skyler
  Econ major. But you knew that already.
• Kennedy “Musk” Barnaby-Stephenson Sr. Jr.
  Barnaby-Stephenson’s flow is the most impressive on the team. In fact, his hair was once featured in Pantene commercials.
• Bleepblorp, the Immortal
  Not very fast, but he’s got a great arm – all eight of them! Hopefully his competitive nature translates to lacrosse talent after a lifetime of mercilessly killing humans.