The 13 Lies You Told Your Parents This Thanksgiving

  1. Yes, I’m having fun at school.
  2. I made friends.
  3. No, I’ve never been on the Grindr.
  4. I missed you mom!
  5. I am thinking about really committing to Pre-Med.
  6. Yeah, I’m having a great time at Yale.
  7. That picture I sent to the family group text was an avant garde art piece I’ve been working on regarding reception of the human phallus in modern digital mediums. Not a dick pic.
  8. It’s fine, I’m getting extra credit.
  9. I’ve really explored Baltimore.
  10. The Zumba classes are totally working for you dad.
  11. It wasn’t herpes.
  12. No, I did not get my penis stuck in the orange juice machine in the FFC.
  13. I’m excited to go back.

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