Living At Poverty Line Challenging, Report Hopkins’ Impeccably Dressed Graduate Students

Sporting a brown suede blazer overtop his neatly pressed Ralph Lauren V-neck sweater, a graduate student studying English named James Greer confirmed today that living at or near the federally administered poverty line of $11,490 per year for a one-person household is indeed “pretty difficult.”

“Getting by on such a meager budget can be challenging,” said sociology PhD candidate and regular Banana Republic patron Ryan Simmons. “But I make do with what I can.”

“I eat a lot of ramen,” Simmons added, with a knowing grin intended to impart his perceived frugality.

Graduate students across the country are reporting more and more serious hardships in just getting by and having enough to eat for the week, while looking incredibly good.

“You have to strike a balance,” explained Writing Seminars MFA student Charles Gallagher, while carefully removing his purple cashmere cardigan. “Do I want to eat lunch this week, or do I wanna do my laundry? These are decisions you have to make sometimes.”

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