Dan Schneider and Quentin Tarantino Host Toe-Curling World Cup Watch Party

We’re foot-balls deep in the World Cup, and people around the globe are on their toes with anticipation. Two of the most excited famous figures, though, are esteemed producer Dan Schneider and his good friend Quentin Tarantino. The pair decided to throw the watch party of the century, one grand enough to sweep anyone off their feet.

“I was never really a fan of American soccer before,” explained Tarantino, “but this whole football thing is something else! I didn’t know so many people around the world shared my interests. It’s honestly hard to contain myself!”

The guest list was loaded from head to toe, with big names including Steph Curry, Machine Gun Kelly, Jack Black, Big Boi, Gordon Ramsay, and the ghost of Queen Elizabeth II. The attendees seemed to all get along very well, and it was even rumored that many were seen playing footsie under the table.

The event was catered by Subway, where they exclusively served footlongs, and sponsored by Fruit By the Foot for a sweet post lunch treat. They ate while watching the match and playing riveting games of tic-tac-toe. Everyone was rooting for Italy, the foot of Europe, but they were too busy feasting their eyes on the magnificent man-movers occupying the bottom half of the screen to realize their favorite team had gotten the boot before the Cup even kicked off. They still seemed to be pretty big fans of the Netherlands, though.

Although it had its kinks, the party was an immense success. The guests were in such awe, they kissed the ground beneath the two hosts’ feet. Everyone left hoping to one day follow in their footsteps.

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