In order to fight its perception as overpriced, CharMar has announced its new “Imagine It’s Less Expensive” campaign. Led by local PR agent Julia Lindstrom, the campaign is intended to make shoppers trick themselves into thinking they aren’t spending so much money.
“‘Imagine It’s Less Expensive’ is going to get students to look at the prices of assorted snack foods at CharMar, help them imagine that the price sticker says $3.99 rather than $7.59, and help them pretend that the numbers flashing on the cash register aren’t really that high. We’re hoping that this new campaign taps into the creativity and imagination of Hopkins students,” said Lindstrom, “or some shit like that.”
Initial reaction to the campaign has been marked by skepticism. “Do they really expect us to believe this shit?” said sophomore CharMar patron Lenny Grimmett. “You’d have to be high to believe that the prices were actually lower.” Upon delivering this statement, Grimmett was directed by Lindstrom to a bowl of free hallucinogens near the entrance of CharMar. “But maybe they’re onto something,” he recanted, placing a tablet onto his tongue.
Lindstrom is adamant that the combination PR campaign/bowl of assorted illicit substances is the best way to improve sales at CharMar. “I mean, it’s not like lowering prices would achieve what we what,” said Lindstrom. “That’s absurd.”
Upon hearing about the venture, administration was reportedly in talks with Lindstrom to develop another “Imagine It’s Less Expensive” campaign to fight the university’s reputation for exorbitant tuition.