Rant Blog: All The Classes You Want to Register For Are At The Same Time Because Fuck You

You finally got a hold of your advisor to get that hold off your ISIS account. You search the directory to see what is in store for your next semester.  You see three classes that you like.  Maybe one of them is an intensive poetry class. Maybe another is a philosophy class that seems like it was meant for you. The other is an economics class that looks like something you could use in the real world.  The professors are great, the classes look so cool, you need them for your major, to graduate, to have a degree, but oh no, hold up, are you kidding me, they are all at either TTh 10:30 AM – 11:45 AM, TTh 12:00 PM – 1:15 PM, or, the most egregious offender, [Insert literally any day of the week] 1:30 PM – 3:50 PM.

Did Hopkins invent Time Turners and not tell you? For the love of God, 1:30-3:50 PM OR 3:00-5:20 PM? Choose one, because you sure as hell can’t have two humanities seminars in the same day.

You fill your cart, Beautiful Mind-ing your way through a web of class schedules, making sacrifices left and right. No Acting and Directing Musical Theatre for you, and now no one will ever hear your rendition of “I Dreamed A Dream.” Now ISIS killed… the dream… you dreamed.

You sigh. You picture all of the professors in your major sitting around a wooden table smoking cigars and thinking about the time slots in which they feel comfortable teaching. One says, “How about I make my class Tuesdays from 1:30 PM – 3:50 PM?”  A round of yeas fill the room. Another pipes up, “That is when I shall have MY class, too!” A similar round of yeas.

What should you do? The email to your advisor goes flying. You are sure that this professional can give you some solid advice.  But, three minutes before 7 AM on the day of registration, you get the response, “I don’t know what to tell you… except that I’m teaching a class Fridays from 4:30-6:50 PM if you’re interested.”

Credit: Flickr Creative Commons User cuatower.

Credit: Flickr Creative Commons User cuatower.

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