What you can expect at the Lighting of the Quads

  1. Hopkins administration spiked the hot coco with Prozac this year, so free mental health for everyone for one day!
  2. Vice Vice Vice Provost Rengatramanajananam givING a 50 min speech on how the Holidays bring us together except if you have a “bitch wife.”
  3. They accidentally double booked the acapella concerts over the fireworks, so good luck hearing the fireworks.
  4. The photo booth reuniting students with their estranged fathers who are suddenly proud of them and finally returned with that gallon of milk.
  5. Bloomberg thinking it’s a rally for him. He will be flattered.
  6. Ronny D running around frantically trying to find the one Christmas light bulb that’s burnt out.
  7. M-Level nerds filing a noise complaint with the city because they can’t study for finals.
  8. One student dying in the mile long apple cider line.
  9. Chicken on stick disguised as a candy cane booth.
  10. The beach catching on fire.

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