Here’s why you should donate to senior gift fund! Look at all these great prizes you will potentially receive!

$5 – One (1) squishy pencil grip from the Scholastic catalogue

$10 – A “Shriver Blue” ping pong paddle with the ball attached to it on a little string

$15 – Silly putty (already opened)

$20.19 – $60,000 of debt 😉 (and a cord)

$30 – A Hopkins branded mousetrap for your future apartment

$50 – That little sticky pocket for your phone that holds your JCard

$100 – Technically, you can steal any library book for this price

$150 – A custom-made, never-before-distributed “Hopkins Loves Baltimore” hat

$300 – Who would even give this amount to Hopkins? Like are you for real?

$550 – A sterling silver class ring. This one isn’t a joke.

$1,000 – A handkerchief embroidered with Ronny D’s signature (for your tears)

$2,500 – A “mini Mr. Bloomberg” drawstring backpack

$5,000 – A serene candle-lit dinner for two in the FFC (good through July 1st 2019)

$10,000 – Permission to stand on the Hopkins Seal in Gilman, no consequences

$25,000 – One admission voucher for your untalented child

$53,740 – An entire extra year at Hopkins, FREE of charge!

$100,000 – You’re still reading?

$250,000 – The knowledge that you could have donated $250,000 to the world’s most vulnerable people and instead chose to give it to a school that just removed the teeth from its bird mascot