This Valentine’s Day, as always, everyone at Hopkins is hopelessly alone. Here are some of the exciting plans students shared with The Black and Blue Jay:

GECS — They’ll be planting their seed on the President’s Lawn 😉

CS — Making a mess with several bodily fluids as well as melted Ben and Jerry’s in and on their MIT sweatshirts 😉

BME — With their second-best skills in prosthetic engineering, this Valentine’s Day will be a good second-best to actually getting laid 😉

Writing Sems — Rather than spilling their ink on a page, they’ll be redirecting their creative juices to spill ink on erotic poetry instead 😉

IS — Even a blotchy picture of Angela Merkel will get the job done 😉

MolCel — They’ll be working on a different micro-sized specimen this Valentine’s Day 😉

Neuro — What’s better — Psych or Cog Sci humiliation porn? 😉

AMS — Doing the same thing as CS, but not as hard 😉

Public Health — They say masturbating is healthy, right? What about 14 times in one day? 😉

Psychology — Is it an Oedipal fantasy if it’s the CharMar sandwich lady? 😉

Philosophy — Cogito ergo cum 😉

Econ — They’re actually getting laid.  No wink.