Sophomore Janice Vickers is reportedly failing biochemistry. With the final quickly approaching, Vickers has reported that she refuses to study anymore. “I can’t blow my professor’s mind with my knowledge, so I’ll have to blow his, uh, mind a different way.”

She continued, “I’ve spent so much time studying and I just can’t get any better. I’m just so done with biochem. I’ve been spending so much time down on D-level studying. I’m pretty experienced with the D, but I don’t want to study anymore.”

Vicker’s aversion to studying has become extreme. “If I see my textbook again, I think I’m going to vomit, which is incredible because I’m really good at suppressing my gag reflex.”

“I keep trying to schmooze my way to a better grade during office hours, but it’s not working. I need to take it up a notch,” she continued. “I’m willing to get down on my knees for my professor if that’ll help with my grade. With all the work I’ve done, I’m definitely getting shafted because of this F.”

Considering her semester GPA, Vickers added, “I can’t afford the F. I just can’t. But I could take the D. Oh, you know I could take the D.”