2017 MSE lineup

The Black and Blue Jay has received a leaked list of this year’s MSE symposium speakers. Their 50th Anniversary will be celebrated with a lineup of ten amazing speakers.

  1. A propped up corpse of Ronald Reagan – Campaigned for by the Hopkins Republicans… because THEY haven’t gotten anything they wanted recently.

ronald_reagan_the_reagan_show_photo_courtesy_ronald_reagan_presidential_library_promo

2. An actual blue jay, like the bird – Behavioral Bio dept. tried to teach him to say Go Hop but he won’t.

sfw_fixed_01-29-2011-223

3. BoJack Horseman – Yes he’s animated, but we’ll figure it out.

bojack-horseman-2

4. Owen Wilson – Only says “wooowww” and leaves. Talk lasts 20 seconds. Owen Wilson will be paid highest of any speaker.

owen-wilson-3

5. The cast of Ted Cruz’s twitter porn video – They’ll be holding a master class on what to do with a Writing Seminars degree.

cruz

6. Kimye and Taylor Swift physically fighting onstage – It’s about time.

the-kimye-and-taylor-swift-beef-is-all-about-white-femininity-and-blackness-body-image-1469636874-size_1000

7. A randomly selected white man – MSE has to keep their lineup as white and male as possible.

120514_jack_markell_605_ap

8. Ansel Elgort – He doesn’t have anything of value to say, but that’s never mattered before!.

Favim.com-2028084
9. Panel comprised of

  1. Logan from Big Time Rush
  2. Victoria from Victorious
  3. Smoothie man (aka T-Bone) from iCarly
  4. Madeleine Albright

They will be discussing North Korean nuclear policy.

hqdefault

10. Amadeus the St. Bernard and his owner – To make up for everyone else on this list (and eric andre’s little stunt last year).

1200px-Hummel_Vedor_vd_Robandahoeve

All speakers will be presenting at Ram’s Head Live. Transportation will not be provided.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s