New Craze “Netflix and Kill” Threatening Millions

Today’s youth have picked up a disturbing new habit called “Netflix and Kill.” It’s sweeping our neighborhoods, and it’s very dangerous. It involves a late-night Netflix session that ends in murder. The young people themselves seem not to fear it, saying their worried parents should “just kill out” or “take a kill pill.”

Scientists predict the craze will be more lethal than heroine or cocaine use, with a 90 percent mortality rate. As for the other 10 percent, a young lady with an unsatisfactory “Netflix and Kill” experience has said it was because “he just wasn’t that into me, I guess.” A peer of hers said the “killing part of it is the whole fun; no one actually watches Netflix.”

Some adolescents feel pressured to go all the way in their sessions, and are told by their partners to “stop stalling and pull the trigger.” Others were embarrassed when they were invited over to “Hulu Plus and Kill.” A young man who experienced this said the shameful incident “cut me to the core more than that knife she had ever could.”

Warning signs parents should look out for include their child’s desire to experiment sexually in a women’s prison, their Amazon-prime mass orders of weaponry, or strange stains on the couch.

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