People Who Just “Read Playboy for the Articles” Finally Vindicated

Following a recent announcement by Playboy that they will cease publishing nude pictures in their magazine, those who have always claimed to enjoy Playboy’s articles rather than its lewd material are rejoicing. “I always enjoyed its short fiction,” says Hopkins English professor Bert Milanko, “I had an issue as assigned reading once but no one could pay attention.”

Playboy readers across campus have come out in support of the change. Freshman Martin Gunderson says his friends never believed that his collection of Playboys was for reading. “To prove it to them I cut out all the pictures, and the naughty ads, and the filthy cartoons, and the dirty jokes so the only things left were quality articles. They’re kind of more like leaflets now.”

Another student, Carter Williams, is overjoyed. “Finally they’re getting rid of those distracting boobs and I can focus on those sweet, sweet, Q&As and those sexy consumer reviews and, oh God, the men’s lifestyle featurettes,” said Williams, peeling open a copy of Playboy to a review of The Dark Knight Rises.

Reached for comment, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner was surprised by the change, made by his executive team, “Wait, we had articles? Why?”

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