Rant Blog: To the Guy Who Hogs Both Armrests During Lecture

First off, don’t you need at least one arm to take notes with? Do you even take notes? No you don’t you lazy motherfucker you don’t even doodle. I can see your blank sheet of paper. You don’t even have the decency to pick your nose and give me a chance to take back what is rightfully mine. You just sit down next to me when I am digging my clicker out of my backpack, put down your pointless sheet of paper and spread your bony ass elbows all up into my business.

I mean are you trying to pop my personal bubble with those pterodactyl wings? If you were alive during the ice age some cave man would murder you and use your humerus to shank a mammoth, your elbows are that pointy. I could really focus better on the math lecture if I wasn’t twisting my torso into a non-Euclidean shape to avoid getting stabbed by your sharp edges.

I bet you’re that guy on the bus who sits with his legs spread really far apart and his backpack in the seat beside him. You’re the guy who leans his seat back in the airplane. You probably drive ten miles per hour under the speed limit in the passing lane. You are probably the worst person ever and you do not deserve two whole armrests, GTFO.

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