Weeks following the release of iOS 8.3, moms nationwide have been reporting to their children that they still don’t know how to work their iPhones. Moms everywhere have been seen wearing their glasses on the end of their noses and holding the phones at arm’s length in order to read the screen.

In their bewilderment, moms have been making seemingly impossible mistakes since the update. Common complaints include accidentally turning their default language to Greek, losing all of their Michael Bublé albums, and not being able to watch Ellen DeGeneres videos on YouTube. “She’s so funny!” say moms.

Moms are also reportedly exploring easier-to-use alternatives. “I keep hearing the Samsung Galaxy is nice. I ran into Dale Gibbons at Ann Taylor the other day and she has one and she LOVES it,” said the moms. “Isn’t that the one with the pen? I LOVE the pen.”

The recent iCloud leak of celebrity nudes has been also a concern for moms. “Now, I don’t have any nudes, but I still don’t want people to see pictures of me and the girls at our Myrtle Beach reunion. Remember when Jennifer Lawrence had her nude pictures leak? I like her. She’s so funny and so down to earth and she seems like a good person. Unlike those Kardashians,” say moms. “Oh look, ‘The Big Bang Theory’ is on.”

Say racist mothers, “How do I make the emojis white again?”