Jihadists, JHU Registrar’s Office Still in Stubborn Deadlock about Who Will Change Their Name from ISIS

Reports indicate that the staff of The Johns Hopkins’ Integrated Student Information Systems (ISIS) and the members of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) are still fighting over who is going to change their name.

When asked about the matter, the JHU ISIS staff issued a statement“Listen, maybe those Islamic extremist pussies think that just because they can terrorize entire regions of the globe they can force our hand here. But those mother fuckers have got another thing coming. We’ve put up anti-explosives checkpoints all around the campus and patched all the bugs in our website. Maybe they can hack the United States Military but let’s see if they can bring us down after we denied a few senior CS majors the last classes they needed to graduate unless they helped secure our position. Sure, they’re first on the Google search but who gives a shit about that? Google “Barneys” and you’ll get links to that gay-ass clothing store instead of the fucking awesome ‘Barney and Friends’ TV show. Shows how much Google knows.”

The Black and Blue Jay also reached out to the scary ISIS for comment, receiving in response, “أوه، جون هوبكنز لديه ISIS أيضا ؟! ويمكن”ان تبقى الاسم، و نحن لا نكترث العلامات التجارية.”

No one on the staff of The Black and Blue Jay reads Arabic so…I guess article over?

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