In Line With All-Natural Products, Char Mar to Start Growing Own Weed

In a natural extension of their newer product lines, Char Mar officials announced this week that they would be growing and selling their own strains of marijuana. Gilman’s Ganja (indica) and Krieger’s Kush (sativa), as the new strains are known, were formulated and grown by Char Mar’s newest hire, Chief Dank Officer Tyler Toker. Said the executive, slowly,
 
“The Charles Street Market is excited to branch into the growing pot industry, and these new local, organic strains totally fit into the vibe they’ve been going for lately. Y’know, au naturale.
 
To match the expected demand, Char Mar has expanded its property, co-leasing a number of dorms in Wolman Hall to serve as grow rooms for their newest batches of sticky icky. The move was met with widespread approval from the freshmen. Said one Wolmanite,
 
“We love it, man. This stuff’s way better than what they sell behind Uni Mini. They jack the price way up though. Typical corp…corp…” the student attempted to go on, but lost his train of thought after a fit of giggles.
 
The new initiative will bring about some other changes in store layout. Reports indicate that the number of free samples will triple, whereas snacks such as Oreos will be locked into an industrial safe with a redundant locking mechanism hidden behind a false wall of kale snacks. The Market also plans on rolling out a new selection of bongs, bubblers, and vaporizers as well.
 
“The students need a way to get their medicine,” said Toker. “We’re working on getting my newest batch of medical in to Hell Well too. Ready for this? Bloomberg’s Basil.
 
Look for the Char Mar chiba to hit shelves the 20th of April.

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