The Black and Blue Jay surveyed some Hopkins students regarding their feelings about the semester at this moment in time. This is what they had to say.
Amelia from New Mexico: Well, now that the frats have closed I’ve started doing coke to pass the time. I give it a 6 out of 10.
Terry the BME: I haven’t seen the sun in months. I don’t even remember what it looks like, what I look like…Who am I? Who are you? How did you find me? Do you know the answer to problem 5?
Billy from Arkansas: Pretty good! I finally learned what Asian people look like!
Alex from New Jersey: I got mugged, so not great.
Alex from New Jersey: I got mugged, so not great.
Alec from New Jersey: I mugged two people, so it’s been great.
Samuel from Indonesia: I have been sexiled for three months.
Keith from Illinois: How hasn’t it been going, am I right? Sorry…I…I don’t know, what were you asking?
President Ron Daniels: I learned that “I want to give you the D level” is not an effective pickup line.
Alex from New Jersey: I’m a Writing Sems and Philosophy double major, so each moment paseth, yet our every moment remains statically transfixed in perpetuity, both in our memory and in the inescapability of this infinite, overwhelming “now.”
Carla from Minnesota: No. Fuck this school.
The Black and Blue Jay 