For weeks now, Johns Hopkins freshman Tim Mowery has been visibly excited, both on his face and in his pants, for spring break – his chance after a grueling seven weeks to go back home.  Mowery says that he is looking forward to having some time to get some alone time and embrace himself.  He said that first he will “beat my meat and butter the corn for my family’s favorite jerked sausage and corn dish. At Hopkins I never have time for such culinary endeavors.”

Mowery was eager to get back to his normal routine of life on his family’s farm.  “Every day, I would milk the cows, choke the chicken — that was a pain — flog our lazy donkey, pull along the bologna pony, and slam the ham.  Even though those don’t sound so ideal to city-slickers, I’m able to pleasure myself by doing them.” 

Back at home, Mowery’s parents are excited to have their son back.  Dave Mowery said that he was “saving some work for Timmy, because I know how much he loves painting ceilings and picket fences.”  Lauren Mowery added that she’s just excited to watch her son “wrestle Cyclops, our one-eyed dog.”

“It’s so nice having him home,” commented Grandma Mowrey.  “Timmy always makes such sweet music for us all with his skin flute.”

         Unfortunately for Mowery, he will not get a full break since he has to study for exams when he gets back.  On this, he commented that “even if I don’t get to do all my normal activities, at least I can do the same thing I do at school – sweatily hunching over my computer for hours doing hard labor – in a different, but more familiar location.”