The Black and Blue Jay has received a leaked list of this year’s MSE symposium speakers. Their 50th Anniversary will be celebrated with a lineup of ten amazing speakers.
- A propped up corpse of Ronald Reagan – Campaigned for by the Hopkins Republicans… because THEY haven’t gotten anything they wanted recently.
2. An actual blue jay, like the bird – Behavioral Bio dept. tried to teach him to say Go Hop but he won’t.
3. BoJack Horseman – Yes he’s animated, but we’ll figure it out.
4. Owen Wilson – Only says “wooowww” and leaves. Talk lasts 20 seconds. Owen Wilson will be paid highest of any speaker.
5. The cast of Ted Cruz’s twitter porn video – They’ll be holding a master class on what to do with a Writing Seminars degree.
6. Kimye and Taylor Swift physically fighting onstage – It’s about time.
7. A randomly selected white man – MSE has to keep their lineup as white and male as possible.
8. Ansel Elgort – He doesn’t have anything of value to say, but that’s never mattered before!.
9. Panel comprised of
- Logan from Big Time Rush
- Victoria from Victorious
- Smoothie man (aka T-Bone) from iCarly
- Madeleine Albright
They will be discussing North Korean nuclear policy.
10. Amadeus the St. Bernard and his owner – To make up for everyone else on this list (and eric andre’s little stunt last year).
All speakers will be presenting at Ram’s Head Live. Transportation will not be provided.
The Black and Blue Jay 