Do you like singing, but only in a competitive way?  Can’t keep all the a cappella groups straight?  Here’s a handy guide to the top groups on campus from your friends here at the Black and Blue Jay.

1. Vocal Chords:
   • Expect to get glued at the hip to all other members if you are the one and only freshman to get into this group this year.  Their cult-like attitude will compel you to mention their 3rd place ICCA win to everyone you meet — even if you don’t get a callback!
2. All Nighters:
   • Ever wanted to enter an amalgamation of Pitch Perfect and the movie Sausage Party?  Now’s your chance.  If you love dressing up like a crayola marker and getting your ego stroked by overzealous fangirls, this is the group for you.
3. Gilman Underground:
   • Do people really hate you on the message boards?  Join the Gilman Underground, where you can finally meet @brony_cuckdaddy6969 in real life!
4. Sirens:
   • Do you want to rush a sorority that’s extremely small and even more difficult to get into than IX?  Welcome to the Sirens, where on top of huge annual dues you need perfect pitch, and can’t even do cocaine.
5. Notes of Ran-vee-ay:
   • Savior complex?
6. Octopodes:
   • Have you ever wanted to be part of a recorded album that no one on this planet will ever listen to?  Join the Octopodes.  It’s DEFINITELY not a front for a tentacle porn fetish ring.
7. Mental Notes:
   • Are you always the ONLY one laughing at your own hilarious jokes?  The Mental Notes will give you an outlet for romantic frustration like no other… comedy a cappella group on campus.
8. Adoremus:
   • Adoremus is unequivocally the best performing group at Johns Hopkins.  They approach their musical set with sincerity and passion, and provide a great spiritual experience for their audiences.  These fucking rockstars will bring you to your feet to cheer, and then your knees… to pray.  Amen.

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