Hopkins Tour Group Loses Guide, Becomes Nomadic Tribe

After becoming separated from its guide, a Johns Hopkins admissions tour is now aimlessly wandering throughout the campus and Charles Village community as a nomadic tribe. The group has been reportedly seen taking pictures in front of the Johns Hopkins sign and cornering students to chant menacingly, “What was your score on the SAT?”

“I thought they were following me,” Hopkins student and tour guide Billy Waters said, “but they must have still been busy taking pictures of Gilman Hall, Homewood Campus’ oldest and largest academic building.”

While the group has been sighted most frequently on the second floor of Gilman, they are often present at many other campus locations.  The group has also been previously spotted in Barnes & Noble foraging for Hopkins-themed apparel and copies of the required pre-orientation reading.

According to witnesses, the group has become dangerous. Eyewitness accounts report the performance of ritual sacrifices, in which one pre-frosh is selected to step on the Gilman Seal and is therefore doomed to never graduate.

In consideration of their safety, students are advised to stay away from any crowd that consists of helicopter parents, tourists, bored younger siblings, and the Anthropology grad student who has been studying them for his dissertation.

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