An Open Letter to the Best Big Ever

Dear Biggie,

I knew you were the one for me as soon as I saw the Facebook profile “MyLilKelly WasntMyFirstChoice.” You are so sweet and funny! (Love you.)

Anyway, thank you for all that you’ve done this secret week. I can’t thank you enough for the first gift basket you gave me. I really appreciated the $5 Starbucks gift card with $1.38 left on it and the bag of carrots labelled “No Candy for You, Fatty!” The mouthwash with the label “Hint” you put in my dorm was so thoughtful of you too!

I loved how you got all my former hookups to serenade me with “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift. I really appreciated the chance to reconnect with all of them – even the uggos, who I wasn’t prepared to see in daylight! It was also such a fun twist at the end when instead of saying “Your big loves you,” they said “Your big thinks you’re easy.” I knew our love was unspoken, too powerful for words.

My favorite memory of us so far is when you told me to go to Gilman atrium last Wednesday at 2 for a surprise and then nothing happened and I waited there for 8 hours. Oh my god Biggie, you are SO crazy (love you SO much)! That was just like something my parents would do; obviously we were meant to be family.

When everyone says their big loves them, I know it pales in comparison to the love we have for each other. I’m so excited to be part of this dysfunctional, hot mess, cray-cray betch fam.

Your little,


P.S. Love you!

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