Top Ten Ways to Survive Winter Storm Jonas

  1. Take a drink for every inch of snowfall! Alone.
  2. Spike your hot chocolate! And your coffee! And your water! And your toothpaste.
  3. Go outside and experience the blizzard! It’ll be even lonelier out there!
  4. Soak a bowl of snow in wine! Mmm, dinner!
  5. Build a snowman buddy! No one else wants to drink with you!
  6. Lick a metal pole! People will come and look, but they won’t approach. There is nothing lonelier than standing out in a crowd.
  7. Walk outside and see how long it takes for your tears to freeze to your flesh!
  8. Binge watch Sex and the City and wonder why you can’t develop a long-term friend group like the Carrie Bradshaw!
  9. Lurk on all your old flames! Drink every time you swell with jealousy or anger, and finish your drink every time you see an old flame with a new significant other or Google internship.
  10. One last drinking game! Netflix and chill with yourself with the Mad Men drinking game! Starting from season 1 onward, drink every time a character drinks, smokes, has an affair, or appears on screen.

 

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