JHU’s competitive course registration has been taken to a whole new level; based on the popularity of the Hunger Games franchise, Hopkins admins have turned registration into a physical fight to the death. Students on the waitlist for popular classes will be released into Wyman Park with a variety of weapons until there is only one survivor, who then is enrolled in the class.

This change is popular among underclassmen in the Engineering school who don’t have to worry about waitlists. Students in the humanities are more concerned, especially those with small seminars.

“Everybody is always signing up for my film classes even if they’re not in the major,” said Film and Media Studies sophomore Eddie Terrence, “I’m going to have to kill an engineer and a dozen Writing Sems majors just to get into a class for my major. Besides, the Hunger Games are just a ripoff of Battle Royale.”

President Ron Daniels only had this to say about the change, “May the odds be ever in your favor.”

Statistics professor Carla Marlow reminded the BNBJ, “The odds actually aren’t in their favor. Only one person survives. On the bright side, the lottery to get into Charles Commons should be thinned out.”