How YOU Can Make A Difference In YOUR Student Government!

With all the talk regarding Student Governance lately, we at The Black and Blue Jay thought it’d be helpful to give a list of tips on how YOU can make more of a difference in YOUR Student Government!

1) Recognize it’s YOUR Student Government: YOU are the King of this castle. The members of the Student Government serve YOU and YOU alone. Use them to control YOUR enemies, achieve YOUR goals. YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ELSE IS NOTHING. TREAT THEM AS SUCH.

2) Vote for YOUR members of YOUR Student Government: Put the people who will serve YOU in power by voting for them. In this case, voting is defined as planting their opponents’ heads on a stake during YOUR nightly celebrations of YOURS AND YOUR FRIENDS’ EXCELLENCE.

3) YOU should run for Student Government YOURSELF: YOU do not let others control YOUR life. It’s YOURS. YOU make YOUR destiny. Be the change YOU want to see in YOUR world. It’s YOUR world. YOURS. YOURS. NO ONE ELSES’. SEIZE THE REINS. YOURS YOURS YOURS. Battle cry.

4) YOU should stage a coup so YOU can seize ultimate power over YOUR Student Government: Round up YOUR allies. Polish YOUR weapons. Attack when it’s convenient for YOU. YOU kill the current leader. YOU bathe in their blood. Cherish YOUR victory with a celebration of YOU. YOU’VE earned it, champ!

5) Be polite: Policymakers respond best to courtesy and respect. Remember, they aren’t magicians – they’re just doing the best they can.

KILL THEM WITH YOUR KINDNESS.

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