Hop and Shake Sues New Campus Strip Club, Hop and Shake

The owners of Hop and Shake, a shake and smoothie vendor on campus, have filed a civil suit against a proposed new campus business attempting to use the same name. Slated to move into the new multi-purpose building under construction on St. Paul Street, Hop and Shake Club will be the first ever student run strip club.

Brock Longpole, president of the Stressbusters club and founder of the new Hop and Shake Club said about his idea, “It just occurred to me, college is a unique place filled with equal amounts of people who need money to make ends meet and people who have extra money to spend in order to, um…make ends meet.”

The new strip club will employ male and female students as bartenders, bouncers, and of course, performers. When asked about the lawsuit, Longpole responded, “The people over at the other Hop and Shake are doing the same thing I am; filling a need. As far as the name goes, I honestly think they should admit that it works better in the club’s case.” He added after a thought, “Just wait until they get the ‘Johnny Hopkins.’ Only twenty bucks and you can’t find anything like it at Loyola.”

Sarah Helm, legal representative for the vendor, stated, “I believe my client has full grounds for a suit based on clear infringement of copyrighted material. Furthermore, I don’t see what place a strip club has on campus.”

The announcement of the club has generated mixed reactions across campus, with the Parents council and some student groups protesting the development, with others, notably the News-Letter, the Ladybirds Dance Team, and the Inter-Fraternity Council endorsing the club.

When approached for comment, President Ron Daniels seemed unwilling to address the situation directly, mumbling, “Here at Hopkins we have to keep our integrity, I mean in the race of life we try to put students in the pole position…I mean, we just have such an amazing student body…that is, excuse me. I need to go to the petty cash office.”

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