Spring Fair Life Hacks for Douches

1. buy the collectible, refillable mug and fucking lose it right away
2. get a cash advance on your parents’ credit card and tell them it was stolen
3. pour vodka into your beer helmet to minimize on sobriety timez
4. punch the monkey in the face
5. wear your frattiest bro tank and spill alc all over it before you get to the quad so that you just HAVE to walk around shirtless
6. definitely bring a gallon jug of water everywhere you go so that you have to piss all over the place
7. drink beer on the Beach and when you’re down pounding the can, fucking leave it there
8. for the love of God, get some fried Oreos

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