Reports have come in from The Johns Hopkins University Homewood Campus this past week that clues to the rumored treasure of Daniel Coit Gilman, the noted adventurer, womanizer, and part-time university president, has been right under the noses of students in their undoubtedly overflowing spam folders.
Sophomore Paul Bearson was stunned to find clues to the treasure in an unopened email, long since forgotten, from a (now ex-) vice-provost.
“I was trying to find an email from my advisor, which, I swear, said that I was off the hook about that language requirement,” he said.
Luckily, for treasure-hunters in the Baltimore area this young scholar had a thirst for more than knowledge.
“Yeah, I had just typed in the first half of my advisor, Professor Goldman’s, name into the search bar, when I reached for a sip of my, uh, beverage,” said the underage student. “I guess the computer searched for ‘gold.’”
The then vice-provost related in the email his struggle to keep the clues to Gilman’s Gold a secret. It goes on to reveal that the university administration was trying to hide the clues from the student body in an attempt to locate the treasure first.
When asked whether he was going to go all Nic Cage on this treasure hunt, the beleaguered engineering student replied,
“No, midterms are in a couple weeks, so unless the treasure is in the library, someone with more time on their hands is probably gonna have to go looking for it. Probably someone in Writing Sems.”
For any Writing Sems students with time on their hands, the first clue read: “We build men, not buildings, yet we have a few of the latter. Look in the descendent of a guest’s highest tower.”
Hopefully, whoever cracks the code and does find the substantial treasure of the university’s first president, bull-fighter, and notorious pirate, will buy Bearson a, uh, beverage.