Future JHU Class of 2019 Student REALLY Hoping to Get into Stanford

Isaac Norman, future JHU Class of 2019 student, is eagerly awaiting his admission decision from Stanford University, his top choice school. Norman will receive the news in March that he has been rejected from Stanford and admitted by Johns Hopkins.

“I’d love the weather in California. My campus visit was beautiful, and it’d be really nice to go somewhere warm and sunny,” said Norman, unaware that next year he will at one point be slugging through six inches of snow and temperatures well below freezing as Maryland experiences an unusually chilly winter.

“College football is awesome, and I’d love to go to a school where football is a big deal. Go Cardinal!” In about a year, however, Norman will be sitting alone in the bleachers at Homewood Field, cheering on the Blue Jays in a club soccer game.

“I think I want to live in Stern Hall. The pictures online look really nice and I think it’s one of the better freshman dorms,” he stated, not knowing that he will be living in AMR I next year, sweating through the sweltering heat of late summer without air conditioning.

“My application is definitely pretty strong. I’ve got a 2250 SAT and I participate in a lot of clubs,” said Norman, oblivious to the fact that Stanford admissions officers had just read his application and unanimously decided to not offer him admission.

Norman’s classmate Patricia Hull will be accepted to Stanford, but will instead attend a local state university because without adequate financial aid, her family cannot afford to pay private college tuition.​

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