12 Things Kanye West is Going to Do Before He Lets You Finish

1. Reassemble the cast of “Home Improvement” for a short musical number.
2. Ace Biomaterials I and II.
3. Make all of Rachael Ray’s “30-Minute Meals” consecutively to create one extended 29,280-minute meal.
4. Accept the Hamburgler as his Lord and Savior.
5. Write and perform a biographical puppet show depicting the life and work of Orson Welles.
6. Become Bar Mitzvahed.
7. Clone his child, North, put North Two on North One’s shoulders, drape both Norths in a trench coat fit for an adult, and send his creation to rob a Bank of America.
8. Watch “Young Frankenstein” — again.
9. Find one ring to rule them all.
10. Begin and complete a large-scale paintball war with Regis Philbin.
11. Create a new line of Kanye-scented body butter to be sold at your nearest Bath and Body Works.
12. Unplug Ryan Seacrest.

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