It’s that time of year when sophomores have to scramble to find places to live for the next two years after Hopkins unceremoniously kicks them off campus. The Black and Blue Jay compiled a list of the places you might want to check out on your housing search:
1. The Charles. If you can’t be bothered to walk more than 20 feet to campus, this place is for you. Also explains the permanent smell of weed.
2. The Guilford/Halstead/The One Near Chocolatea. Sorry, it won’t be taking new tenants as it goes through its identity crisis.
3. The Varsity. Oh YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?
4. Village Lofts. That’s fine, leave your shit right there. Just make sure you tip the bellhop on your way in the door.
5. A row house on North Calvert. LOLOLOL if you’re not in a fraternity HAVE FUN. If you don’t like the smell of Natty Boh and armpit in the morning, choose another home.
6. Uni One. If you like sharing a building with random ass old people, this is the home for you.
7. Uni West. Oh wait I thought you were talking about Uni One. Never mind.
8. The Carlyle. More like the Farlyle amirite?
9. Brody Learning Commons.
10. The Marylander. There’s always room in the Marylander.