Freshman Wakes Up in Panic, Remembers His Neopet Probably Died in 2004

Early Tuesday morning, campus security was called to AMR I with a report of a potential crime. Freshman resident, Johnny Whipple, had worried his roommate when he sat straight up in bed, sweating, and shrieked: “BABYCAKES646, HAVE I FORSAKEN THEE?” and proceeded to call the security hotline with an admission of guilt for an unspecified crime.

HERO was called to the scene, but a medical examination of Whipple showed no signs of illness, though he repeatedly asked for his “neggs”, which authorities assumed to be medication. Further inquiry led him to admit his eleven-year neglect of Babycakes646, his beloved green Kacheek.

When asked how he could forget about such a close friend, Whipple maintained that he, simply “forgot to buy more mashed potatoes and Faerieberry pie.”

One HERO staff member noted that he could have easily placed Babycakes in the Neolodge and Spa, before taking a hiatus from the game.

Investigators were finally able to hack into the ancient account on the 352nd attempt with a variation of the password, “boobie_slayer.” Items in Whipple’s account being used as additional evidence include a wooden shield, half-eaten sandals, and a pile of dung, all indicators of an greedy dependence on The Giving Tree, unwarranted since Whipple had recently come into 5,000 Neopoints, as transcribed on his statement (c/o Bank of Neopia).

The murderer lamented: “I should’ve played more Meepit Juice Break…I should’ve played more Meepit Juice Break.”

Whipple was promptly reminded that he had still abandoned the game for over a decade.

In a miraculous turn of events, the malnourished Babycakes646 was discovered to still be “dying”. He is recovering in the hospital of Neopia, and is suing Whipple for a whopping 500,000 Neopoints, and unlimited access to the ill-named negg production factory, the “Neggery”.

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