“Frank Bruni Not Famous Enough” Say Students with Zero Combined Pulitzer Prize Nominations

Hopkins students seem pretty disappointed in this year’s commencement speaker. The BNBJ asked around campus and got some poignant (and anonymous) responses.

“I would have preferred someone more recognizable. You know, someone brilliant, coherent — like Spike Lee. That’s who we gotta get.”

“Frank Bruni? Isn’t that some Sacha Baron Cohen character? Disappointing.”

“Um, Cornell has Joe Biden…and they’re not even ranked higher than us. We’re #10. We should have one of the Obamas at the minimum.”

“This is unacceptable. We must start a petition. UMich, for its bicentennial, is having faculty members read out speeches by old commencement speakers. What a great idea. We should have one of our old white guys read out Bill Cosby’s speech from 2004!”

“I’m glad I’m going to be a super-senior. At least I’ll have a better commencement speaker than this bullshit. Really dodged a bullet failing IFP 1.”

“If we’re going for a gay icon, why couldn’t we have gone for someone cooler? Like Ellen, or Harvey Milk.”

“He might be the top of his field, but he’s not the top of my field. I’m a scientist. I am beyond unimpressed.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to have to listen to a WRITER talk for an hour. I spend all my time avoiding those people in Gilman. What gives?”


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