All the things The JHU Republicans Endorse

Recently, the JHU College Republicans released their endorsements. They commented: “the club believes in upholding conservative values and will be committed to furthering the progress of the Republican Party in the fall and beyond.” Here is a list the BNBJ obtained of all the things they endorse:

Getting rid of covered grades
- Back in my day, the only thing that were covered were women.
Socioeconomic inequality
Elmos and IX
- Secrets, cocaine use, and a hostile social environment? Sign me up!
Putting pinholes in condoms
- A good excuse to pull out
The Odyssey Online
- Hard-hitting, impactful journalism outside the mainstream media–for bigs and littles alike.
Unsafe zones
- Sometimes we just need to get triggered.
Classes in Bloomberg
- It’s an absurdly long walk, but injustice builds character! Take note, poor people!
Taking stem cells from Henrietta Lacks
- Stem cells don’t have skin color!
And of course we support Lax!
- It’s hard to choose between lax and water polo, since our constituents make up a majority of each.
Token Minority Friends ™
And, of course, Donald Trump