1. The first step in any successful studying session is carefully planned, systematic, panic.
2. Use your imagination. When studying for something drab like biochem, thinking outside the box can do a lot to make your study session more fun. For example, what if instead of proteins, our bodies were held together by microscopic clones of John Malkovich? It’s not wrong if you believe it.
3. Practice saying, “There’s a test tomorrow” with varying degrees of shock. Develop a repertoire ranging from “momentarily startled” to “I should get some practice cutting the eyeholes on those paper bags.”
4. When studying for a multiple choice test, always remember that no matter the question, the correct letter of the answer can always be found somewhere in the sentence, “A quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.”
5. Avoid not studying alone. Find a group of friends to not study with.
6. Ask yourself the following questions to see how ready you are for the test: Do I know the material? Am I confident in my preparation? What is confidence but an illusion of control? What is human control but an outpouring of misplaced desires to be like gods? Are we alone in the universe?
7. You do not hunt the Henderson-Hasselbalch Equation as though it were a wild beast, young grasshopper. You must open yourself, and the Henderson-Hasselbalch Equation will light on your consciousness like dew in the early morning.
8. If you’re really stressed, know that your professors are people, too. Just approach them casually, person to person, and command them to pass you if they ever want to see their children again.
9. Remind yourself that this one test will not keep you from getting into med school. There are dozens of other things that will do that.