Friday Night Films To Begin New “After Hours” Adult Film Series

In the aftermath of Focus Features’ “FIFTY SHADES OF GREY,” the Hopkins Organization for Programming (the HOP) has decided to include an “After Hours” film series that would take place in the wee hours of the night every Friday.

The HOP, which screens recent movies every Friday in Gilman, unanimously agreed that adding a raunchier film screening at night would help bring more people to the initial showings.

“We’ve tried co-sponsoring with clubs, and that only does so much. We really couldn’t miss this opportunity,” said Linda Bolles, a sophomore on the marketing team. “With such a sexy film garnering so much money and attention, we figured we had to HOP on this trend.”

The administration, which announced recently that it will release a new BDSM welcome video as a part of their “Blue jay Dominance in Science and Mathematics” program, called “FIFTY SHADES OF JAY,” has expressed praise on the efforts of the HOP.

Said Associate Dean Aaron du Bois, “We are thrilled that people want to spend their Fridays on campus and out of harm’s way. If we have to sell sex to keep people from the tour de frat, so be it!”

For its first trial, the HOP plans to re-show “THE FAULT IN OUR STARS” for its normal Friday Night Films screening, and then “THE COCK IN OUR BARS” for its After Hours film series. In addition, they plan to hire local Baltimore striptease artist Charli XXX to perform her hit song, “Butt Clap.”

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