Hampdenfest Named Most Instagrammable Event of the Year, According to Baltimore Hipsters

As vinyl records, thrift store trinkets, vintage “hon” attire and craft beers were unloaded for this year’s Hampdenfest, Baltimore’s hipster population removed its Beats By Dre ear wear and slowly emerged from its dark coffee shops. Armed with their smartphones, these trendy yet cultural residents plan to flood their Instagram accounts with Hampdenfest photos.

The annual arts and music festival began at 11am on Saturday, but local trendsetters had already begun planning their perfect gram posts beforehand.

“Maximizing likes on a photo is essential,” Starbucks barista Atticus Smith said stroking his beard. “My goals are at least three selfies and one pic of me double fisting some PBR’s.”

“I’ve already come up with my clever caption for the pic I’ll take at the Toilet race: ‘Baltimore gets its shit together.’” Byron Burns said. “The smiling poop emoji will solidify at least 30 likes.”

Most people in the hipster community hope their Insta pics will be seen as an artistic process.

“I choose my filters very carefully,” Maryjane Flannel explained.  “Mayfair and Hefe are my go-to’s, but if I really want to get creative I choose Low Fi. It’s colorful and unexpected.”

Not only focusing on the art of photography, some hipsters feel that they must serve the valiant duty of historians.

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” record store designer Ivan Running said.

Despite overwhelming excitement disguised as cool indifference, some Baltimore hipsters were actually disappointed with Hampdenfest 2014.

“The festival would be so much more successful if it fell on Selfie Sunday,” Hazel Latay, a vintage radio collector and blogger, said. “This was poor planning on the event staff’s part. It’s outrageous that they wouldn’t wait one more day. Then I’d be able to add one more hash tag to my selfie with a hon.”


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