Team Wins Sports Game

A recent sports game left one team with a win and another team with a loss. The nation has descended on coverage of the riveting match, with most onlookers agreeing the play critical to the victory given to one team, happened in the last moments of the game, and shockingly committed by a “rookie”, or first year player.

Sports analysts widely lauded the tactical decisions made by the newbie which ultimately allowed the match to end in way that his team had scored a greater number of points than the opposing team. The aggregate actions of the rookie’s team as whole brought jubilation to the region from which the team is based. Players and coaches alike reported they were proud to be paid millions of dollars to represent an area most had minimal ethnic, cultural, or even residential connection with.
The players, often from financially underprivileged backgrounds, do not need much prompting before they reaffirm their enthusiasm for risking debilitating physical injury and permanent brain damage for the egos of the retired players coaching them and the entertainment of people they will never meet. Players were especially delighted to give the same companies that contribute to rampant obesity and heart disease in their home communities a chance to graciously introduce their product lines to more people. Allegations that the players are corralled like sheep to slaughterhouse or act as modern day gladiators are refuted by the fact that many players have the opportunity to earn high powered degrees in fields such as communications, marketing, business and sports management.
When questioned, the rookie of the match expressed the enjoyment he derived from scoring points, and a determination to continue to score points in the future. The victorious team has ambitions to continue to prevent the other team from scoring more points than them, while their set of old white men eagerly awaited increased apparel sales.
The losing team is reportedly considering not losing in the future. It hopes to achieve this not only through the scoring of points, but also through active point denial to the opposing team.

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