Your Guide to JHU Finals Freebies

With nearly everyone on campus pent up in the library for finals period, your favorite organizations are ready with free giveaways and events to keep you calm. Check out a few of these upcoming study breaks:

Study Break on Q Level: Free Horse Tranquilizers!
Join the equestrian club for free horse tranquilizers on MSE Q level! Only one handful per person, so get there early!

Left-over Four Lokos with the Inter-Fraternity Council
Take a #TBT timeout, and throwback to pre Loko-bition. We’ve been stockpiling cans in every flavor since 2009, so stop by the Brody atrium today between 11am and 2pm to grab yours.

Blue Jay scarves for $39.97 at the Bookstore with your purchase of another Blue Jay scarf for $39.97.
What’s better than one Hopkins mascot scarf for a decently high price? Another one, for the equivalent price as the original! This special offer runs literally every day of the year, so buy your Blue Jay pride today!

Small Guatemalan Children on M Level
Stop by M Level of the library to carry home your very own small Guatemalan child. Take that, finals!

Backrubs with Stressbusters
I mean if you want strangers touching your back for too long, then sure. Come to B level.

Human Hands with the Italian Club
Hunger for human extremities got you down? Brush up on your Italian language skills while consuming a delicious meal of human hands to satisfy those late night study cravings.

A free-for-all robbery spree of Ron Daniels personal belongings
It’s hard to keep your head above water during finals period. Instead, keep your head below the water, as you wade through the President’s fountain to get to his actual home! Search through the mountains of gold and silver coins, take what you like, and purchase an Irish Castle. Good luck on orgo!

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